Bon repos, Mme Bérubé

J'ai toujours su que cette journée viendrait, mais je ne voulais pas l'avouer. La mort de Mme Bérubé me laisse fatiguée, bouleversée, et perdue dans mes pensées et mes souvenirs. Je la connais depuis l'âge de sept ans. Mes parents m'ont envoyée prendre des leçons de musique avec elle. En la rencontrant pour la première fois, je me suis tout de suite sentie à l'aise et accueillie chez elle.

La musique était la moindre chose que j'ai apprise avec toi. En te connaissant, j'ai fait un apprentissage de la vie, beaucoup plus puissante que toute autre formation possible. Ton opinion de moi était importante et ce que tu m'avisais essentielle dans ma formation personnelle. Je suis devenue enseignante pour être plus comme toi, et en me préparant pour le jour de tes funérailles, je me demande si je suis assez avancée dans cette formation.

Je n'ai jamais vendu mon violon comme je le voulais. J'ai toujours pensé que je ne pouvais pas le faire pendant que tu vivais. Maintenant je sais que je ne le ferai jamais. C'est le seul lien qu'il me reste pour tenir ton souvenir dans mes mains. La senteur de la colophane et le son du violon qui a témoigné tant de larmes avec nous est maintenant plus précieux que jamais. Je pense même reprendre l'habitude de le jouer. Je me souviendrai toujours de tes conseils d'accepter de jouer pour les autres "et avec plaisir".

Je ne suis pas allée te voir une dernière fois. J'y ai pensé souvent, mais les pensées ne sont pas assez. Maintenant, je dois vivre avec ce fait. J'ai un peu peur d'aller à tes funérailles demain. À la fin de cette cérémonie, ce sera officiel et certain. Je suis forte depuis lundi (quand j'ai appris que tu étais décédée en fin de semaine). Je n'ai pas pleuré beaucoup de larmes. Je ne sais pas si ma force me soutiendra demain, mais je dois espérer qu'elle le fera.

Pour l'instant, j'attends et je fais une petite prière. Je t'aime fort, fort, Mme Bérubé! Tu me manqueras beaucoup. Je ne t'oublirai jamais. Lorsque je dis à mes élèves, "Prends ton temps. T'es capable," ou bien, "C'est la tête qui mène, pas les nerfs," je penserai à toi et je saurai que tu vivras longtemps par l'entremise de l'influence que tu as eue dans ma vie et dans mon développement personnel.

Ton époux t'a attendu assez longtemps.Bonne réunion et bon repos!

J'attache un lien de l'histoire que j'ai composé afin de te dire à quel point tu as touché ma vie.

The Front Step (About the importance of Mme Bérubé's influence in my life)

Credo

I have read the "Everything You Need to Know" essay many times over the last several years and I have never taken the time to sit down and write my own Credo. Finally, I am going to give it a shot. I will keep it as honest as I can so that in a few years, I can look back and reflect on who I was at the time and see if my thoughts and beliefs evolve as much as I do. Here goes..

1. I believe that we don't even come close to reaching the potential that is within our grasp.

2. I believe that I can learn anything I choose to learn, as long as I set my mind to it and work at it when it does not come easy.

3. I believe bullying is not only a school years problem. Some people never outgrow it and they bring it with them to the work place.

4. I believe that children sometimes know better than adults. As they age, they forget what they knew as a kid and slip into bad habits.

5. I believe youth is a treasure we don't appreciate until it is long gone. How I would love to have fun like a kid again.

6. I believe laughter is a cure for many things (sadness, loneliness, even some physiological diseases).

7. I believe running is a good way to empty my heart of worries while I take care of my body.

8. I believe there is a lot more beauty surrounding me than I acknowledge. It's a little like the "Take the time to smell the roses idea". We need to really look at what is in front of our eyes in order to see the beauty there.

9. I believe there is nothing more comforting than a disgustingly thick peanut butter and jam sandwich for supper.

10. I believe a little piece of heaven seeps into my dreams when I nap in the sunbeam that floods my living room on a Sunday afternoon.

Two Choices

Today, we watched this video in class. I have seen such a variety of reactions to it that I am never sure what will come out of a viewing. The first thing that struck me after showing it to the 7-1 group was the absolute silence that followed. I was impressed with the respect and compassion they displayed and the discussion that followed led me to think a little more about the three principle players of the bullying scene.

First of all, we have the bully. This is not a tough one to figure out, but they do come in different types. There are those who physically bully others, those who prefer to inflict emotional hurt, and those who redefine what they will socially allow for their victims. I am not sure why some people feel entitled to decide what happiness or comfort others should be allowed to enjoy, but there seem to be an awful lot of people who give themselves this liberty.

The second player is the victim. I know that there are many reasons a child (or adult) is targeted but are any of them valid? A person acts, dresses, talks, or behaves differently. Is it my place to ridicule them, or to correct them based on my definition of what is acceptable? Is it up to me to remind them that they are different, to point out to them that no one likes them the way they are? Sometimes they are easy targets. They are shy or physically weak, or even slower at accomplishing tasks (academic, athletic, musical or other). Again, is this a good enough reason to belittle them? What does any bully stand to gain by making someone else feel worthless or unliked or unpopular? If the answer is nothing, then WHY do they keep doing it?

The third (and possibly most important) player is the witness. We do not give him or her the attention he or she deserves. By deciding not to get involved, the witness is saying that what they see is OK. If it wasn't OK, they would surely do something about it. You disagree? It's more complicated than that? I would love to know why. Some will answer that others would look down on them for being a snitch. Shouldn't they worry more about others looking down on them for allowing the bullying to continue? Would others really say, "Yeah, we don't like him (or her) because they don't stand by and let people get bullied"? If they would, are these the kinds of people you really care to impress?

The behaviours we value sometimes baffle me. People say they are just not getting involved. The fact of the matter is that you are involved the minute you witness it. The question remains...

What are you going to CHOOSE to do about it?

Think about it carefully. Your response (translated through your actions) is spelled out in two ways.

1. I choose to get help (or do something myself) because what is happening is wrong and I will not stand by and allow it to continue.

2. I choose to allow this to continue by doing nothing.

Either way, it is your choice. Either way, your actions speak volumes about your character and your compassion towards another human being who has just as many feelings and rights to feel safe as you do. Either way, it defines you. So I ask you...

How would you rather be known?